What About Foreplay?

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Foreplay. What is it? Is it necessary? Can you just skip to the good stuff?

Over the years, my friends and I have debated those questions. Sometimes we had great conversations, ideas, and debates, but on occasion, we totally disagreed.

Wikipedia defines foreplay as: In human sexual behavior, foreplay is a set of intimate psychological and physically intimate acts between two or more people meant to create desire for sexual activity and sexual arousal.

In essence, foreplay gets a woman all roused up, wet, and horny. It makes men insane. Those are good things. No, they are great things. Sex is good all the time, with the exception of non-consensual sexual acts, but that is not what this blog is all about. A quickie before parents arrive, a long, sensual night when kids are away, they are all great. A romantic evening with candle light, a roaring fire, and soft music playing is awesome, but so is a good old-fashioned fuck. Sex is just great. Period.

So, if sex is always good, why worry about foreplay? And how long should you spend? Is there a certain amount of time allowed? I personally have never set an alarm clock to go off in exactly fifteen minutes or watched my clock for ten, and then looked at my husband and said, “Okay, foreplay time is up. Just do it already.” But, there have been times I have thought that.

The first thing to remember is foreplay does not begin under the covers. I know, shocking isn’t it? Now, I am not suggesting you walk around the house all day fondling one another, giving long, lingering kisses every five minutes, or anything, especially if you have kids in the house. There is much more to foreplay than most of us even consider.

Foreplay is about getting ready, setting up the scene for desire, and kindling the fire between the legs. For most women, desire is affected by much more than a touch. Had a bad day at work? It’s hard to forget that and suddenly become horny. Husband pissed you off? Well, that’s a definite turn off. For some that leads to great makeup sex, but for others, such as my self, it makes the idea of sex, well, sickening. In-laws pick on you today? A sick child in the house? The list goes on and on. As women, we tend to lose track of the fact we are indeed sexual beings. We also carry guilt and if anything is going on in our lives, we feel we don’t have the right to open up our hearts, or our legs, and have fun.

Instead of focusing on foreplay in the bed, focus on it all day long. Give your partner a fun loving pat on the ass. Flash him your boobs when the kids aren’t looking. If you are visiting parents, whisper seductively in his ear, “I’m wearing my red thong.” Think about sex! While sitting at a red light, think about your partners tongue pleasing you to the highest of highs. Read about sex. Most of us have smart phones or e-readers. Download a few short stories and read them! Talk about it. Make sexual references and jokes. Laugh about it. Just keep it in your mind.

Remember, sex in a relationship is about so much more than a physical act. It is two hearts coming together, beating as one. It’s about bonding and sharing. It’s about giving and taking. It’s about remembering why you are together.

Now, get off this blog, go put on sexy undies, read a short erotic story, flash your partner, and work on your foreplay. Have fun!